”THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Reblog this!
It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…
FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT REBLOGGING THIS! IT COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.
Reblog this. Only the picture will appear on your blog.
Nonono this is not ok! It puts all the responsibility on the victim and has a lot of false and misleading information in it which could make the situation worse for a lot of people. This and this article gives good explanations as to why (Please read them before continuing this). Also, reading this might be a good idea too.
Here’s how to really stop rape:
2) STOP PERPETUATING RAPE CULTURE
-Don’t make rape jokes. Ever. Not regular rape jokes. Not prison rape jokes. Not animal rape jokes. Don’t even use ‘rape’ as a synonym for beating someone in a game. Triggering rape victims aside, trivializing rape like this will gave rapists the idea that what they did wasn’t so bad, that it’s not really a big deal, that it’s ok for him (or her, gotta put that in to prevent a whataboutthemenz derail) to do it again. It will make them (and people around her) think she deserved it, that she was stupid to do what she did before the rape.
-Don’t make sexist jokes (or racist, homophobic, ableist, transphobic jokes, but for their own reasons). It perpetuates the primitive idea that women are inferior to men and will make rapists feel less guilty about what they did or gives potential rapists the green light to do what they want to do because hey, it’s not like women are people, right?
-Don’t victim blame. It puts all the responsibility on the victim (and gives a bunch of bad safety ‘tips’ too, which can even make it worse) and none on the rapist. It will also make rape victims feel even worse, it will make them think it was their fault, that they should have been more careful, therefore making it less likely for them to report the rape and more likely for the rapist to get away with is if the victim does report it. Which means the rapist is free to find a new victim or continue to abuse the first victim.
-Don’t act like all rapists are mask wearing men who swoop out of nowhere and drag a woman into their unmarked van. The majority of rapists are someone the victim knows and trusts, like a friend, neighbor, brother, boss, boyfriend etc.
-Don’t go and say something wasn’t ‘real rape.’ Any non-consensual sexual act on another human or animal is rape, it does not need to be penis in vagina sex to be rape either. If the person is unable to give enthusiastic, active, sober consent, it is rape. If you initiated a sexual act with a drunk person, or a minor, or a sleeping person, or someone that said ‘no’ 20 times before saying ‘fine yes, just stop begging’, or someone who, in any way, cannot say “yes I’m sober and aware, I’d like to have sex with you”, then congratulations, you are the scum of the earth!
-Don’t act like everyone knows exactly what rape is. A lot of people think rape is only forcible penetrative sex on a woman who was dressed conservatively and got dragged down a dark alley.
-Don’t use poorly thought out analogies to justify certain kinds of rape.
—Don’t compare getting raped while drunk to driving while drunk. Getting raped while drunk is not like actively making your own, uninfluenced (by other people) decision to get in a car and driving and getting into an accident. (That’s what the rapist is, if he happens to be drunk too at the time). It’s more like being a drunk pedestrian and then hit by a car (whether or not the driver is drunk), you are no less of a victim of getting hit by that driver while you are drunk walking than you are if you were sober. “Well if they both are drunk, then they raped each other!” No, they didn’t, whoever initiated it is the rapist.
—Don’t compare dressing scantily or drinking to going up to a bear with food in your pocket. A human is not a bear. A human has the capability to know that “hey, maybe this person doesn’t want to have sex with me, I should ask first,” a bear can’t think like that. A human has the ability to understand the potential consequences of his or her actions, a bear doesn’t. A human can think ‘hey if I do this I could potentially ruin this person’s life, and the lives of her/his friends and family, and potentially go to jail for it.’ All the bear is able to think when it sees you is either ‘it’s a threat’ or ‘it’s food.’ By using this bear analogy, you’re basically saying all men are as impulsive and primitive as a wild animal and absolutely can’t control themselves when they see too much skin or something. I’d like to think men are better than that.
-Don’t act like consent is implied. If someone had sex with you before, it does not mean you get a free card to do it again whenever you want. You must get consent each time. If it’s awkward to you to ask each time, then too bad, it’s better to be a little awkward than to be a rapist and ruin someone’s life.
-Don’t prude shame people. If someone doesn’t want to have sex until marriage or till some time in the far future, or ever, then that’s their decision. Don’t make fun of them for that decision, don’t bully them into changing their minds. That is rape.
-Don’t slut shame people. It doesn’t matter how many sexual partners the woman has had before or how many times she has slept with them, it is still rape if one of them does it without her consent and slut shaming makes it so much worse for the victim. It’s much harder to get the rapist locked up, and she has to deal with shaming and bullying by people around her. The people think “oh well she’s slept with 10 guys before, she made her body public property.”
-Don’t shame women for wearing skimpy clothing or dressing ‘suggestively.’ This is another form of slut shaming. Don’t tell her wearing clothing like that will make her more likely to get raped. A rapist doesn’t care what the woman is wearing, at all. Rape is about power, not sex, he’s not forcing himself on her because he’s horny from seeing a lot of skin, he’s doing it because he wan’t power over her. Her body is not public property if she chooses to show skin. She can run around completely naked and you are not allowed to even touch her without her permission. Her body is her property and you can only touch it if she says you can.
-Don’t act as if someone ‘owes’ you sex. Nobody owes you sex no matter how ‘nice’ you are to them or what you do for them. Don’t be a Nice Guy™ . Don’t bully her or guilt her into having sex with you because you did so many ‘nice’ things for her, such as treat her like a human being. If she’s not interested, she’s not interested. Get over it.
-Don’t sexually harass people. Call out sexual harassment whenever you see it. Harassment culture is almost as bad as rape culture and helps contribute to it.
-Don’t get all mangry when you see a ‘don’t rape’ poster somewhere. It’s not calling all men rapists. A no littering sign isn’t saying everyone dumps toxic sludge into the rainforest then gives the finger to captain planet. A ‘don’t drink and drive’ sign isn’t saying everyone plans to run over a bunch of people. Nobody gets mad when there’s a sign saying ‘security camera in use’ in a store. It’s saying ‘hey if you’re thinking of doing that, DON’T.’
Don’t police your daughter’s sexuality, while letting your son do whatever he wants. Don’t tell her not to get raped, while not telling him not to rape. Teach him about consent! Don’t say 'boys will be boys' if he does something cruel when he’s little (or big).
-Don’t say things like “oh well there will always be bad people out there, we should teach proper safety tips to potential victims.” All the above points are why rape is so prevalent, not just because ‘bad people will be bad,’ and women aren’t careful enough. All of the above garbage tells them that what they are doing isn’t that bad, or bad at all.
-When you teach your kid about rape prevention, focus less on avoiding provoking it and more on developing self respect and healthy relationships.